No Strings Attached

#nostringsattached: making-out with someone without the awkward feelings and interactions afterward. 

This term became more frequent in my vocabulary after discovering beautiful landmarks (and apparent good romantic/make-out spots) in San Francisco.  Whether I have fulfilled the task will remain a mystery…but with the New Years around the corner, and as we know…things happen on New Years; we have to be prepared.

I was surprised I had not written a post about this subject earlier considering the enthusiasm I shared with friends with each new #nostringsattached place I discovered.  But on Christmas morning (which was not at all appropriate to be thinking of these things on such a day), I thought, Can you really make-out with someone without it being awkward?  I mean, ninety to one hundred percent NOT awkward? 

I had to give my what I thought was a good idea some more thought.  What does #nostringsattached really mean and what are the repercussions? #Nostringsattached is nothing new.  It is essentially hooking-up or a slightly different version of friends-with-benefits.  Friends-with-benefits is when you hook-up with a person more than a few times or that you are kind of dating (making-out and hanging out), but are too scared to call it for what it is.  #Nostringsattached is purely PG making-out and with no feelings.  With friends-with-benefits, there are feelings, and sometimes in the end with hurt feelings, but with #nostringsattached, you are not allowed to have feelings.  You make-out because it is good, and that’s it. 

@ThePalaceofFineArts

But to get that point, we need to take a few steps back.  How do you know you could make out with someone with #nostringsattached?  (This is not a How2 post; I don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s behavior).  I guess you don’t really really know, but I have found that a good indicator could be that you may like someone or be attracted to them, but do not really want to date them.  Everything out loud seems much worse — but like I said…things happen.  It doesn’t make it right nor good, but it happens because most likely, we want it to happen.  And really, #nostringsattached is just a lust thing; you are making-out to fulfill one type of sexual desire.

Some people view kissing as something like hugging (just kidding, the mental image made me laugh).  Some people kiss more frequently with people that they are not in a relationship with and to them it isn’t a big deal.  There is an attraction and is now being fulfilled.  In a hopeful #nostringsattached case, it can be done and over.  And if it happens again with the same person and can be done and over…again, a classic #nostringsattached moment.

Sometimes we know it gets tricky.  No one really goes into a make-out session knowing what will come out at the end.  You might have been at the beginning stages of liking each other and now have been reconfirmed by your kisses and want something more; you may have been drunk when you two hooked up; there may have been a lot of flirting going on and making-out seemed like a good idea; or you may just wanted to make-out cause its only been forever.  You cannot decide before hand what the kissing may mean because what you feel at the beginning may be different at the end.  Sometimes the making-out is just making-out, but sometimes someone thought it meant something more.

If you choose or accidentally end up making-out with someone and need to make it a #nostringsattached moment, the best way to keep it as such and to keep your relationship as it was before, is to be the friends are, aka be normal.  It doesn’t have to be weird if you don’t want it to be.  It only takes one person to make something awkward.  A motto I had for a while in college was It isn’t awkward unless you make it awkward. I stand by it even today.  I am sure there is some residual effects afterward, just knowing that it did happen, but it doesn’t need to be all that uncomfortable.  So it happens, and now let it be.

The “#nostringsattached” used in this post is a reference to twitter.