Patti Stanger

I’m not one for relationship books. They’re supposed to be for people in their mid-thirties still searching for the one. There’s nothing wrong with still being in my mid-twenties wanting to find someone on my own. I should have good years left before I consult the books, right? — Whelp, I dropped my pride and went all in. What could be so bad on reading a self-help book about love? Any information would be good information (and good research for this blog).

Ms. Patti Stanger

A coworker still looking for love swears by this book, even believes she would still be with her last boyfriend if she had taken the advice from Patti Stanger prior to her breakup.  In the book from the television reality star of Million Dollar Matchmaker, Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate, Patti Stanger offers good and straight-to-the-point advice about finding a mate. If you have ever seen her television show at least once, you get the jist of who she is and she is exactly that in her book.  And I love it.  The confirmation we seek from our best girl friends may help our confidence, but sometimes we need an outsider to give us a reality check and that extra little kick.  Stanger instills a different kind of confidence to her readers and if you follow her eight steps, you should be able to find yourself ” in a committed, monogamous relationship with Mr. Right in less than a year.”  Yay or nay depending on your needs, but let’s just say that I’m not that eager.  But still, Stanger has a lot of great words that focus on more than just finding the right man, but also creating a confident and strong women before she gives herself to someone else.

And that’s my favorite part of the book.  Women often find themselves scared and unsure about dating in general, let alone finding a husband, and this book gives women the self-assurance that they have the goods to be a great person and a great partner.  Stanger’s words may be things we have heard time and time again, ensuring our happiness and health comes first, but they’re good reminders and good positive reinforcers since men see those qualities reflected in dateable and marriageable women.  During this preparation period as we hope to meet that perfect guy, Stanger encourages that while we can have anyone we want, we also need to be realistic and not so picky with the our list of “non-negotiables.” Too many women have passed up too many good men just because the guy had crooked teeth or scratched his head too much when their best qualities of being a good provider and a promising father may be overlooked.  The little things shouldn’t be deal-breakers.  And once we’re good and ready, Stanger sends us out into the field where viable men gather, teaches us how to “qualify the buyer” to make sure he has the qualities to be a keeper, and keeping him till the ring is on that finger.  She provides encouragement and warning signs of when a relationship is moving too fast or too slow, when a man is committed and when he’s not.

Stanger’s words can be really great, but for me, I have to take them with a grain of salt.  It can be a little intimidating and somewhat desperate to think that it is that easy to find a husband in 278 pages.  Maybe that’s a younger age mentality, but it was a good read and good insight for real world dating.  From beginning to end, Patti Stanger tells it like-it-is and whatever age one may be, this book can give you what you need to get yourself out there and be a confident woman.  It can be scary and it can be fun, but we only have to give a little to get a lot.